


I Crumble Completely When You Cry

by FakeMeOut



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Drabble and a Half, First Kiss, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Music, M/M, Mutual Pining, Overworking, Short One Shot, Stress Relief, bit of a slowburn i think maybe, karl losing his shit crying, sfw, they vibe da fuck out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:22:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28931700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FakeMeOut/pseuds/FakeMeOut
Summary: Sapnap made the trip to Karl's house after a concerning call.
Relationships: Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Comments: 8
Kudos: 220





	I Crumble Completely When You Cry

**Author's Note:**

> Title based off of 505 by Arctic Monkeys.

It was late.

Nick wanted to sleep so badly. He couldn't. Not while on the road like this. He had to keep going, keep driving. No amount of his own suffering could ever override the 'platonic' love of his life's own distress.

Those thoughts kept him motivated.

Imagery danced around his mind of an anguished Karl, wrapped in his covers, soaked into his own tears as he wept out for a bit of comfort from another person. Living alone, another person wasn't always accessible. Even so, not just any person would truly be able to comfort him as Nick would. He longed for Nick to hold him, let him know everything was going to go in a much better way than things had seemed.

But that damned distance.  
It was the only thing keeping them apart.  
At this point, Karl was living in North Carolina, Nick living in Florida with his newer roommates, George and Clay.

Nick had felt a little guilty for leaving his newly settled in roommates, it felt off to leave after what seemed like them just getting together, but he'd be back soon. In fact, they encouraged him.

Throughout the drive, Nick had been blinking away tears, from both exhaustion and his own inhibitions about Karl's possible feelings. For the love of God, he just wants him to be okay. He wants Karl to be happy and safe, and though he's sure the older can take care of himself, he can't be sure within himself until he checks up on the brunette and ensures his comfort.

Karl was adamant about Nick not needing to come, he hadn't wanted to burden the other with a long drive or the stress that would come with it. The drive would have to be at least 11 hours, given a few bathroom breaks in between the long haul. The way that Nick insisted admittedly warmed his heart, he felt loved by the other just wanting to help him. He'd have to pay him back sometime for sure as if that was an issue. Though Karl was excited to finally meet with Nick, he felt ashamed that their first meet-up was over something like this.

The older had been overworking himself, yet again. Streaming almost nightly for 4+ hours, filming with his associates daily, editing both his and videos from said associates, and ruining his sleep schedule entirely. He had gotten into his flow of working and somehow managed to juggle all these tasks, but lately, it had been hard. His mistakes were starting to become frequent, at first being easily correctable and only causing very mild panic at the moment until he'd remedy the situation.

But naturally, his mistakes would soon become greater. He'd started mixing up times and timezones, consequently resulting in miscommunications between him and his friends' streaming events and personal get-togethers. This already was causing much bottled up frustration, he felt intensely fed up with himself. It all led up to the official straw that broke the camel's back; a lost camera. Not easily retrievable as it had been lost, and presumably stolen, in a busy area of the city near him. Normally, he wouldn't worry too much but there was video footage on the SD card, meaning that about four videos were lost. Though his co-workers assured him it was fine, they'd re-film, buy a new camera and fix it, he couldn't help but beat himself up. It was less the mistake and more so the taxing of his mental state that it all took. He didn't know how to continue and he didn't want to do or think about anything. Just cry and be loved.

With all of this information being the only thing to keep Nick company, he would soon make it to Karl's curb. Relief and sentimentality immediately hit him, causing him to rip his seatbelt off and stumble out of his car, fumbling his small bag of essentials into his right hand. He'd almost forgotten to lock the car, he was so excited and anxious to get inside and see his friend.

Multiple times he'd almost tripped and fallen out of the sheer dire need to get inside and hug Karl as if in his mind the other would disappear if he wasn't fast enough.

Moments later, a knock came about the door, rapid with hints of urgency to them. Karl peeled himself away from his couch and stumbled to the front door, opening it to find Nick. His eyes, red and puffy met the younger's tired and loving gaze.

"Nick!" Cried Karl, immediately throwing his arms around the shoulders of the slightly shorter man. The eagerness of his embrace being met with an equally affectionate Nick, squeezing Karl to the point of breathing being hard. An almost inhuman grunt came from the older man, followed by lighthearted cries. "OKAY! Okay, you c- AAH!" He choked out. "You can let go now."

With a soft chuckle, Nick let go and rubbed the nape of his own neck, slightly embarrassed that he'd squeezed him that hard on accident. "My bad, bro." Nick said, stepping inside and taking his shoes off. Karl hadn't asked him to, as he'd assumed it was just a respectful gesture that would typically slip his own mind. A breath of silence passed through as Karl looked at the man before him, tilting his head at the small bag in his hands. Nick caught the glance of confusion and it looked as if a light bulb glew up in his head. "Oh, this? It's just got like a toothbrush and deodorant. Speaking of, where's your restroom?"

A few minutes had passed after a brief tour of the house, in just a short amount of time Nick had burst out of the restroom enthusiastically, freshened up and ready to give Karl the love he needed.

"Oh, KARL!" Nick sang out, tone akin to what most would recognize out of a 'Minecraft Manhunt' video with his friends. He felt better being there in person, able to see the other. Smell him, touch him, make him feel safe.

Karl had wandered back into his room, it was the place he felt the most comfortable and he could properly decompress in there. After a bit of aimless searching, getting a bit lost in the big house, Nick finally found him. He saw the open door of the room, illuminated by an LED strip lining the walls in soft purple lighting. The air was more somber than it was when he'd first initially stepped through the front door. Almost as if the issue at hand was remembered. He'd had half the mind to knock on the door frame to let the other know he was there but had a better idea.

With Karl laying on his stomach, face in a pillow as he began to sink into a state of tranquility. Nick sat at the edge of the bed, scooting in closer to Karl and laying a hand against his fluffy brown hair. "Hey, uh.. How are you feeling? What can I do for you?" Nick asked, stroking the locks of the older man's hair. Instead of responding with words, Karl turned on his side and looked over at his friend. A soft smile painting his lips. "Just lay with me. Please." He hadn't wanted to talk right now, at least not about anything upsetting.

Nick nodded, understanding his position and soon laying on his side as well, their eyes locking as soon as he was comfortable. The excitement of Nick's arrival was dissipated, not in a negative way. It just felt natural having him here already. Just him being there through their feelings was enough to make Karl tear up. He brought a sweater covered hand up to his eyes to tap away from the liquid, wiping away the moisture to avoid Nick seeing.

Nick wasn't stupid, he knew Karl was holding back and that's not what either of them wanted. With that, Nick cleared his throat and tried to set the mood.

"Hey." Bringing his phone from his back pocket, Nick pulled up his Spotify. "I found this song I really like, and... I don't know, man. I just think it fits, it kind of has your vibe, y'know?" Karl shifted slightly in place, curious to see what he'd meant. Just a moment passed before the opening instrumental played.

It was a reverberating hum, elegant but confusing. 'What instrument even was that?'

The lyrics started.

'I'm goin' back to 505  
If it's a 7-hour flight or a 45-minute drive.'

Association between this song and their situation was already apparent. The vocals. They were so longing and sweet.

The hum in the background of the song was soothing. Embracing his eardrums with the song's sentimental melancholy.

He was able to unwind like this. With Nick by him. He looked into Nick's half-hooded eyes, his brown hues looked understanding and patient. It was just what Karl needed, and he hadn't realized it. A type of kindness that was unwarranted and genuine.

The song continued, the phone now set above them. The lyrics rang in the pair's ears, detailing lovers, blind to each other's flaws. It seems like they mutually ignored any negative emotion in the melody, focusing on the most romantic of lines and correlating them with each other.

Karl scooted closer slowly, putting his head under Nick's chin, taking in the scent of old cologne from his shirt. How had he managed to smell so nice through an 11-hour drive?

Nick wrapped an arm around Karl's back, rubbing gentle circles against the fabric of the older's shirt. "You good?" Nick whispered, knowing that he was probably fine. Karl nodded, not saying anything and putting a hand against Nick's neck. Thumb stroking the skin in an offbeat rhythm.

Soon, the song ended, neither of them had talked. They let the next song play, it was something else soft and romantic. Karl hadn't known the name of it, but it sounded nice. He loved hearing new songs, especially from Nick. The music playing currently seemed so much more intimate than his usual tastes.

'Wait.'

Heart pounded at the thought, trying not to read too heavily into it. 'Don't be weird.' He thought. 'Yeah, don't be weird. You're only lying in the same bed with him, listening to sexy music. Sure, don't be weird. You're both only lovingly caressing each other but sure! Don't be weird, right?'

His mind was playing with his feelings again, he attempted to shake it. 'Whatever happens, happens.' He tried to tell himself, chanting it over and over in his head to calm down. Soon he regulated his breathing pattern once more and continued. All whilst this happened, Nick battled his own set of thoughts.

Bringing his hand up to Karl's cheek, he stroked circles into the soft flesh, pointing his jaw upward to look at him.

'Fuck. Is this alright? Does he really want this? With me?' Nick's mind echoed, causing him to be slightly panicked, though he tried not to show it.

Karl sat there, almost waiting for the next move, though it seemed as if he'd have to signal it was alright. 'Is he...? Are we about to kiss right now?' He half-jokingly thought.

Sure, the two would often joke about it, but would they actually? Those were just jokes, right? Nothing more.

The tension in the room was getting heavier. Karl was internally juggling the stress of work, the excitement of meeting his friend, and of course, his repressed romantic attraction for Nick. It was all so much at once. Did he even feel the same way?

'You probably look really stupid. Lean up, maybe?'

Nick tilted his head, he was seeing Karl's inner conflict from the outside, moving his body closer to the other's. "Are you alright, Karl? You seem conflicted." Nick swallowed, a bit nervous, scared he may have been making the situation worse.

Silence.

"Hey, we don't have to do anything you don't want, you know that, right? Do you wanna stop?" Nick assured Karl could feel his ears burn, followed by his cheeks. He shook his head.

The younger man smiled, glad that Karl wasn't uncomfortable.

The music continued playing in the background, the lyrics resonating once again as their focus shifted to each other's love. They felt the same way about each other, this much was true as Karl shut his eyes, Nick following as they leaned into each other. Their lips meeting in a caring embrace.

Karl was in absolute bliss.

Nick held Karl into the kiss, holding his waist, stroking along the curve of his body as the other hand stroked Karl's cheek.

A tear left Karl's eye. Departing slowly at first.

One.  
Two.  
Three.

By the fifth tear, he realized he was crying. He breathed heavily when he pulled back from the kiss, feeling his eyes begin to puff again. Nick shook his head, bringing the hand previously stroking his cheek to the older's hand.

"Hey... Shhhh. You're alright. I'm right here." The words from Nick's mouth made Karl fall apart in the best way possible. He was so happy to be with someone. He didn't care what their relationship was after this, the only thing that mattered to him was now.

For now, they were completely dedicated to one another. Nick chimed in again.

"You're so pretty, Karl. Even when you cry, you're beautiful." Karl's hands were brought in front of him, waving and flapping fast on instinct before they were brought to his own face, covering his mouth and nose, what he'd usually do when he was flustered. Nick's words were practically petting his brain. He loved the praise and he felt so lucky to have someone like him to be an immediate comfort. He was getting so lost in his crying and it made him feel guilty. And yet, Nick just sat there, understanding, rubbing his back. Without any judgment.

"Nick, I really... I don't deserve this." Nick chuckled, pressing his lips to Karl's forehead. "Of course you do, but it's alright. You don't have to believe that right now. Just let it out. I want you to cry until you can't anymore. You deserve it." Nick assured, comforting Karl.

Karl lurched forward, kissing Nick's lips once, this time with more passion through the tears. He was so frustrated that Nick was vehement about being so comforting, it pissed him off in a way. Not a vindictive one, but it allowed him to release his bottled frustration. Just in a different form.

It continued like that until Karl stopped crying, physically unable as his face was stained with dried tears. The fan above sends a breeze against the damp skin on his face, making him shiver. Nick looked at him and just smiled, pulling back from their last kiss. He let Karl breathe for a moment before intertwining his fingers with the others.

They flipped positions, staring up at the ceiling. Karl gathered his thoughts to speak.

"You're so good to me, Nick."

**Author's Note:**

> third fic pog :] not skephalo dis time ! this was my first time taking a stab at a longer fic, so sorry if the pacings wonky :')


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